Difference between revisions of "Ideas for World Domination"

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(boloDNA!)
(→‎Ideas for World Domination: 10901: buy some ribbon)
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{{ifwd|10899|Robots!|I may get to start working [http://www.ne.anl.gov/facilities/robots/index.html here] soon!|--[[Image:Tometheus-sig.png]] [[User:Tometheus|Tometheus]] <small>([[User_talk:Tometheus|talk]])</small> 21:56, 9 April 2008 (CDT)}}
 
{{ifwd|10899|Robots!|I may get to start working [http://www.ne.anl.gov/facilities/robots/index.html here] soon!|--[[Image:Tometheus-sig.png]] [[User:Tometheus|Tometheus]] <small>([[User_talk:Tometheus|talk]])</small> 21:56, 9 April 2008 (CDT)}}
 
{{ifwd|10900|Run some (mad) molecular biology experiments on bologna (remember to register the domain name boloDNA.com)|They may mock me now, but just wait 'til I've invented the boloDNA-based artificial heart!  (Looking at politicians, it appears someone has beaten me to the bologna-based artificial brain.)|--[[Image:Tometheus-sig.png]] [[User:Tometheus|Tometheus]] <small>([[User_talk:Tometheus|talk]])</small> 11:08, 14 May 2008 (CDT)}}
 
{{ifwd|10900|Run some (mad) molecular biology experiments on bologna (remember to register the domain name boloDNA.com)|They may mock me now, but just wait 'til I've invented the boloDNA-based artificial heart!  (Looking at politicians, it appears someone has beaten me to the bologna-based artificial brain.)|--[[Image:Tometheus-sig.png]] [[User:Tometheus|Tometheus]] <small>([[User_talk:Tometheus|talk]])</small> 11:08, 14 May 2008 (CDT)}}
 +
*'''#10901''': ...?<br />''I don't know, but buy some [http://nfccomic.com/index.php?comic=202 ribbon for the notebook]!'' <!-- --~~~~ -->

Revision as of 05:18, 23 May 2008

me: for the life of me I can't find any 'virtual help someone with their groceries' site on the net!
notme: that sucks
me: virtualchocolate, suuuure...
notme: hmmm..chocolate
me: but no virtual park the car so you don't have to walk in the rain, or virtual grocery assistance...
I see a vast untapped niche market!
notme: that would be pretty sweet
me: /me writes in his notebook.. "Idea #10879 for world domination: Virtual grocery assistance..."

And thus was born my minimeme... Ideas for World Domination.

Ideas for World Domination

{{#if: |**|*}}#42: Become an award-winning scientist{{#if: Perhaps I didn't think this one all the way through.. what now? |
Perhaps I didn't think this one all the way through.. what now?|}}{{#if: 1 |**|*}}#42.1: Oh right, become an award-winning mad scientist{{#if: Slightly disgruntled doesn't seem to be cutting it |
Slightly disgruntled doesn't seem to be cutting it|}} {{#if: |**|*}}#1249: Sell off lab equipment and retire to the Bahamas{{#if: Who needs world domination when you can fund the rest of your life and never have to take someone hostage who might have a friend named BondJamesBond. |
Who needs world domination when you can fund the rest of your life and never have to take someone hostage who might have a friend named BondJamesBond.|}} {{#if: |**|*}}#10879: Virtual grocery assistance...{{#if: Once all the women have swooned, the world is mine! Muahahhahahaaaa! |
Once all the women have swooned, the world is mine! Muahahhahahaaaa!|}} {{#if: |**|*}}#10880: Virtual tire pumping services...{{#if: What they don't know is I'm using mind-control gas... muahahahahhahaha |
What they don't know is I'm using mind-control gas... muahahahahhahaha|}} {{#if: |**|*}}#10881: Virtual batteries!{{#if: Kids, ask your mommies about that one. |
Kids, ask your mommies about that one.|}} {{#if: |**|*}}#10882: Hypnotic cuff-links{{#if: must be worn by someone with a lot of media attention so the links get frequent airtime |
must be worn by someone with a lot of media attention so the links get frequent airtime|}} {{#if: |**|*}}#10883: Llama cheese!{{#if: The Way of the Llama: infiltrating school lunches since 1983. |
The Way of the Llama: infiltrating school lunches since 1983.|}} {{#if: |**|*}}#10884: Chocolate voting ballots.{{#if: It motivates voters to come out and vote and there's no danger of dangling chads! |
It motivates voters to come out and vote and there's no danger of dangling chads!|}} {{#if: |**|*}}#10885: Put hot sauce in all ketchup packs in the world.{{#if: Those things are ubiquitous! While everyone's distracted trying to cool their mouths, sneak in the UN & take over |
Those things are ubiquitous! While everyone's distracted trying to cool their mouths, sneak in the UN & take over|}} {{#if: |**|*}}#10886: License plate holder - My other car is imaginary too!{{#if: Dot the 'i's with phasers set on stun... cause havoc on the world's roads! |
Dot the 'i's with phasers set on stun... cause havoc on the world's roads!|}} {{#if: |**|*}}#10887: Hire paparazzi/stalkers as henchmen.{{#if: They already have the training/tools to be great spies. My enemies will fear them being unleashed and will easily capitulate! |
They already have the training/tools to be great spies. My enemies will fear them being unleashed and will easily capitulate!|}} {{#if: |**|*}}#10888: Develop mind-controlling tomatoes.{{#if: Salsa, Ketchup, Pizza, even Salads... You're all mine!! Muahahahaa!! |
Salsa, Ketchup, Pizza, even Salads... You're all mine!! Muahahahaa!!|}} {{#if: |**|*}}#10889: Create a machine that can administer a Turing Test.{{#if: It legally declares all of my enemies to be machines and therefore inconsequential! |
It legally declares all of my enemies to be machines and therefore inconsequential!|}} {{#if: |**|*}}#10890: A good Virtual Massage site.{{#if: Once everyone's relaxed, virtual geishas attack! (Hmm... Sounds like a Ghost in the Shell story) |
Once everyone's relaxed, virtual geishas attack! (Hmm... Sounds like a Ghost in the Shell story)|}} {{#if: |**|*}}#10891: ***** **** *** **** ****** (this idea has been redacted for national security reasons){{#if: NOTE: make secret midnight drop-shipments of Sporks to locations around the world to carry this one off. |
NOTE: make secret midnight drop-shipments of Sporks to locations around the world to carry this one off.|}} {{#if: |**|*}}#10892: Pay henchmen well with plenty of perks and lots of rest so they are alert and unbribable.{{#if: It's a small price to pay for peace of mind |
It's a small price to pay for peace of mind|}} {{#if: |**|*}}#10893: It's so obvious! A ray that converts all alcohol to sleeping potion.{{#if: Bond, I forget, would you like that vodka martini shaken or stirred? |
Bond, I forget, would you like that vodka martini shaken or stirred?|}} {{#if: |**|*}}#10894: Remember to include price of henchmen, scientists, secret lair, supplies, etc in ransom price.{{#if: $1M is not enough. Why do these other evil geniuses live in multi-mullion dollar facilities, with huge payrolls and equipment expenditures then only ask for such a tiny sum?? Go all out! You're not paying for it after all! |
$1M is not enough. Why do these other evil geniuses live in multi-mullion dollar facilities, with huge payrolls and equipment expenditures then only ask for such a tiny sum?? Go all out! You're not paying for it after all!|}} {{#if: |**|*}}#10895: Hire zombie guards to patrol the dungeon corridors.{{#if: My 'guests' won't want to leave the safety of their cells. |
My 'guests' won't want to leave the safety of their cells.|}} {{#if: |**|*}}#10896: New Logo - lots of tiny flying pickles (on a background of a Mayan pyramid){{#if: Come! Rally to my cause nerds of the 80s! We control the world now! (hint) |
Come! Rally to my cause nerds of the 80s! We control the world now! (hint)|}} {{#if: |**|*}}#10897: You know, that whole 'flying monkey' thing might have some merit to it.{{#if: They could start off pretending to be angels/demons to eliminate the gullible first. For the rest of the popuation, the sight of uzi-wielding flying monkeys should do the trick. NOTE TO SELF: Beware of girls from Kansas. |
They could start off pretending to be angels/demons to eliminate the gullible first. For the rest of the popuation, the sight of uzi-wielding flying monkeys should do the trick. NOTE TO SELF: Beware of girls from Kansas.|}} {{#if: |**|*}}#10898: Trained gerbils in daisy-print ninja outfits!{{#if: Release by the 1000s in the world's stock exchanges and watch the hilarity ensue. (While my henchmen take my actual targets hostage) |
Release by the 1000s in the world's stock exchanges and watch the hilarity ensue. (While my henchmen take my actual targets hostage)|}} {{#if: |**|*}}#10899: Robots!{{#if: I may get to start working here soon! |
I may get to start working here soon!|}} {{#if: |**|*}}#10900: Run some (mad) molecular biology experiments on bologna (remember to register the domain name boloDNA.com){{#if: They may mock me now, but just wait 'til I've invented the boloDNA-based artificial heart! (Looking at politicians, it appears someone has beaten me to the bologna-based artificial brain.) |
They may mock me now, but just wait 'til I've invented the boloDNA-based artificial heart! (Looking at politicians, it appears someone has beaten me to the bologna-based artificial brain.)|}}